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Poem: My Home Gym
I built myself a home gym so I could exercise, Replace my fat with muscle and tone my flabby thighs. My bingo wings I’d banish, my posture would improve, My body would be sculpted – how gracefully I’d move! I’d be so fit and agile, a marathon I’d run And maybe then I’d do a…
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Happy Publication Day for Sticky Ends!
We here at McCaw Press are very happy to announce that it’s publication day for Carol Carman’s new book Sticky Ends! A collection of comic poems featuring possessed gnashers, unstoppable shoppers, serial killer brides, crossword fanatics, telly addicts, a lonely school reunion, a bunch of drunks and the world’s worst outing to Blackpool. Carol Carman…
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Poem: Something Amiss in My Engine
There was something amiss in my engine: a new water pump needed, I thought; I booked my car into the garage – for a service, a see-to and sort. The message came back from the garage: your water pump’s fine – working well – And your motor now waits on our forecourt, it’s running as…
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Poem: Not An Inch Of Space
My daughter’s bedroom’s full of toys – There’s not an inch of space. And so I thought I’d clear some out And give them to a place Of charity, where others might Then take them home for play And raise a bit of money for A good cause on the way.
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Poem: Have A Look In The Chemist’s
We don’t just do prescriptions – we’ve many other things – We’ve pick-me-ups and calm-me-downs, we’ve bandages and slings. There’s ointment for your skin, hay fever tablets by the score; Warming creams and cooling gels for muscles feeling sore. We’ve syrups and we’ve powders to help with ’flu and cough; Body-building pills if you can…
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Poem: Tickets, Please
The stadium holds 64,000 Two tickets was all I desired To go see my favourite musician For the last time before he retired. I desperately wanted those tickets; I’ve been a fan many long years I knew that if I couldn’t get them I’d most likely end up in tears. There was only one way…
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Poem: Getting In
He tried password – it didn’t work; He tried 1234. He tried his place of birth but got No further than before. He tried his mother’s maiden name, His father’s mother’s too; He tried his first pet – and his last – But still it wouldn’t do.
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A great read … thoroughly enjoyable
Another reader review of Twicetime. Our thanks to reader Elizabeth, who posted this on Goodreads: ‘A great read if you like witty banter and one-liners in your fantasy books. I met Carol Carman at an Alternative Fayre and after reading the blurb of this book, I was immediately intrigued and decided to buy a copy.…
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Come and see me!
If you’re in the Huntingdon area on 31st August, please do come and see me at this event. I’ll be there, selling my comedy fantasy books Gingerbread Children and Twicetime. Come and have a chat! I’ve put up a poster for the event (see below) as well as what you can expect from my books.…
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Song: You Can’t Call It Music
It’s something special, I know, and I don’t want to bore, But I guarantee that you’ve heard nothing like me before. But I have a talent – unusual thing – ‘Cause everyone shudders when I start to sing… I can scatter a crowd; People pray that I don’t sing out loud.