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Poem: Something Amiss in My Engine
There was something amiss in my engine: a new water pump needed, I thought; I booked my car into the garage – for a service, a see-to and sort. The message came back from the garage: your water pump’s fine – working well – And your motor now waits on our forecourt, it’s running as…
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Poem: Not An Inch Of Space
My daughter’s bedroom’s full of toys – There’s not an inch of space. And so I thought I’d clear some out And give them to a place Of charity, where others might Then take them home for play And raise a bit of money for A good cause on the way.
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Poem: Have A Look In The Chemist’s
We don’t just do prescriptions – we’ve many other things – We’ve pick-me-ups and calm-me-downs, we’ve bandages and slings. There’s ointment for your skin, hay fever tablets by the score; Warming creams and cooling gels for muscles feeling sore. We’ve syrups and we’ve powders to help with ’flu and cough; Body-building pills if you can…
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Poem: Tickets, Please
The stadium holds 64,000 Two tickets was all I desired To go see my favourite musician For the last time before he retired. I desperately wanted those tickets; I’ve been a fan many long years I knew that if I couldn’t get them I’d most likely end up in tears. There was only one way…
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Poem: Getting In
He tried password – it didn’t work; He tried 1234. He tried his place of birth but got No further than before. He tried his mother’s maiden name, His father’s mother’s too; He tried his first pet – and his last – But still it wouldn’t do.
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Poem: Eat Your Heart Out
When we planned our kitchen, my husband said to me: ‘Get it how you want it – it’s the only chance there’ll be…’ I took him at his word and let my credit card run free And now I have a kitchen which teems with gadgetry… My kitchen’s the equivalent of my old man’s garden…
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Poem: This Is The Jewel
This is the jewel you held to the light To waken its soul for a wide-eyed young child; You kept me enthralled with your tales of its travels Through kingdoms fought over by warriors wild. This gem had been kept in a cave by a wise witch And countless the times it was borrowed and…
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Poem: Who Did You Say You Were?
When we met you’d do the odd impression, Which made me laugh, I will say that, it’s true; All our friends said it was super When you did your Tommy Cooper And then, your repertoire just grew and grew. You did Sir Terry Wogan and Pierce Brosnan, Antonio Banderas, Meryl Streep; In an effort to…
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Song: Hotel Can’taffordmore
On a dark dual carriageway, cool wind in my hair, Warm smell – sugar beet dust – rising up through the air. Up ahead in the distance, I saw a flickering light; I’d worked my hours to the max that day, I had to stop for the night. There she stood in reception, like she’d…
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Poem: Rosie’s Garden
Oh tell me, Rosie; Rosie, tell: What makes your garden grow so well? Each plant in its rightful place Grows and blossoms, given space. If the plants are to succeed Food and water’s all they need. Water? In the morning’s best; Watch out for disease and pest;