Poem: What Don’t You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Written for a free week – write anything you like.

What Don’t You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

I don’t want to be a singer,

I don’t want to drive a train.

I don’t want to be a teacher,

’Cos teachers are a pain.

I don’t want to be a footballer,

Don’t want to be a cleaner;

Don’t want to work an ice-cream van

Or be a ballerina.

I don’t want to be a gardener,

I don’t want to fly a plane;

I don’t want to be a plumber

Poking in some smelly drain…

I don’t want to be a butcher

Or a baker with a shop;

Don’t want to drive a bus because

I wouldn’t want to stop;

Don’t want to be a childminder

Or work in a café;

Don’t want to be a dentist

Fixing people’s teeth all day.

I don’t want to be a painter.

I don’t want to be a nun,

‘Cos nuns have to be holy

And they can’t have any fun.

Don’t want to join the army or

To be in cabin crew;

Don’t want a job with animals

’Cos all they do is poo.

Don’t want to be a hairdresser

Or lawyer or MP,

Don’t want to be a florist, farmer

Or work in IT.

I don’t want to be a doctor,

I don’t want to be a nurse,

I don’t want to be a writer

Of terrible children’s verse.

I don’t want to be famous,

And I don’t want to be rich,

I want to be like Mummy –

Cos Daddy says she’s a witch!

© Carol Carman 2026

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