Written for the prompt V is for Volume
My Spam Folder
The volume of emails coming into your inbox
Is often alarming, I think you’ll agree.
Thanks heavens we’ve all got our spam filters working
Or else we’d be drowning in a spam email sea.
My spam filter roots out the dodgy and scammy
The grifters, the venal, the thick and the strange;
So I’ve braved the depths of my spam folder contents
And here’s what the chancers want me to arrange…
Treatments for my weight loss, eyesight,
Lung health problems (all descriptions),
Tinnitus and foot fungus and
Small blue pills without prescriptions.
Car finance refunds, new TVs,
Glucose monitoring kits,
Complimentary trips to Vegas!
They must think I’ve lost my wits.
Metal roofing, thermal vests,
Insure your life, home, car and health,
Photos printed onto canvas,
Buy shares now for greater wealth!
Hearing aids and memory loss,
Meet a lovely girl – she’s Russian,
Here’s a document to sign,
Become expert on percussion.
Fortunes from Nigerian princes,
Debt relief and doorbells too,
Chopping boards and protein shakes,
Tablets for when I feel blue.
Replacement windows, credit cards,
Annuities and tax relief,
Brand new laptop, solar panels,
Face creams that defy belief.
Courtcase settlements, power tools,
Click here for your personal loan!
Laser hair removal sessions –
Why won’t they leave me alone?
Weekly food and menu boxes,
Online Licensed therapies,
Build a better website and
Invest in cryptocurrencies.
Do away with fuel bills,
Get free spins in our casino,
Care packages to green your lawn,
I’d rather sit down with The Beano…
Claim free perfume for your input,
Get rid of your old timeshare,
Zero foreign transaction fees,
And products for voluminous hair.
One woman wants to buy my house;
She says her name is Liz.
She’s ready with the money
But she doesn’t know where my house is…
One woman wants to change my house;
She says her name’s Suzie.
She wants to rip my bathroom out
Transforming it with a jacuzzi….
Are you addicted to social media?
Don’t miss the latest celebrity fandom!
Yeti Beach Lounge Wagon Reward –
Oh, that’s just words picked out at random…
I spent some hours knee deep in my emails,
I started at two and was still there at ten.
But I learned a very valuable lesson:
I’ll never go in my spam folder again…
© Carol Carman 2026
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