Written to the prompt C is for Common.
A Father Refuses His Daughter’s Choice of Husband
King Edward was the King of Spuds
And Charlotte was his queen.
Their daughter, Princess, was
The prettiest spud you’ve ever seen.
Her father summoned suitors
From all across the land
To try to impress Princess
And maybe win her hand.
The suitors all were gathered at
A suitor-choosing ball;
Princess looked them up and down.
She disliked each and all.
‘He’s much too young… and he’s too old…
And that one’s even older!
And he looks as though he’s got
A big chip on his shoulder.’
The King said, ‘You must choose one!’
Princess said, ‘Not on your nelly!
I’ll marry he who speaks of sport
On radio and telly.’
‘He speaks of sport upon the box?’
King Edward said in shock.
‘You can’t wed such a spud, Princess;
This marriage I will block!’
‘Oh, father, he’s my chosen one;
He sets my skin a-tingle!
If you don’t let me marry him,
I’ll stay forever single.’
‘A son-in law who talks of sport?
No, no, it cannot be.
You’ll marry Jersey Royal
He’s best for you, you’ll see.’
‘Oh, no, I won’t wed Jersey,
Though he seems a decent sort;
My heart is firmly set upon
The spud who talks of sport.’
The king, by now, was boiling.
‘Listen here to what I say,
You will not marry one
Who talks of sport throughout the day.
You cannot marry him, Princess,
Not now, you can’t – nor later!’
‘But why?’
‘He’s not spud royalty;
He’s just a common tater!’
© Carol Carman 2026
Like this poem? Fancy buying me a cuppa? I don’t get paid for doing Writing Club, and I know that buying my books isn’t always feasible, but if you’d like to show your appreciation, you can do it by clicking the red ‘Buy me a cuppa?’ button and giving me a tip, you lovely person. The amount is up to you, and you don’t need a PayPal account to do it.
If you’d like me to come and give a talk to your group – I can talk about my writing and my work at the BBC, and I’ve got plenty of comedy poetry to keep you entertained – please email info@mccawmedia.co.uk