McCaw Media

Tag: comedy

  • Poem: My Spam Folder

    The volume of emails coming into your inbox Is often alarming, I think you’ll agree. Thanks heavens we’ve all got our spam filters working Or else we’d be drowning in a spam email sea. My spam filter roots out the dodgy and scammy The grifters, the venal, the thick and the strange; So I’ve braved…

  • Poem: The Usual Routine

    Every morning, seven-fifteen Sydney showered, short but keen, Ate his breakfast, washed the bowl Listening to some rock and roll Flossed and brushed his teeth with care, Cleaned his glasses, combed his hair, Donned his shirt and tie and suit, Pulled on each well-polished boot; Grabbed his briefcase, coat and hat, Left the house and…

  • Poem: A Blind Date? What Were You Thinking?

    Why am I doing this? What shall I wear? Do I have time to colour my hair? What about nail varnish? Heels or flat shoes? Dress, skirt or trousers? Why can’t I choose? What shall we talk about? Where will we go? Why am I bothered? Why didn’t I say no? What if he’s awful?…

  • Poem: Seize the Clay

    Mrs Sybil Cottery And her husband, Ray, Had a ceramics business Making things from clay. They’d bought a lottery ticket And with the cash they’d won Decided to make pottery, Quirky, weird and fun. They fired up their wheels and kilns As quickly as they could; Ambition, though, outwei

  • Poem: The Lovelorn Candle

    A single lovelorn candle – Smart, petite and bright – Just needed some affection To be a ray of light. To her, love was important, It wasn’t just a game; She didn’t want to end up As somebody’s old flame. She used to date a church candle, Upright, proud, but thick And stank so much…

  • Poem: The Sound Of My Garden

    This is the sound of my garden, A haven of peace and of quiet. Want to relax in a garden? Come round to my house and just try it. Pigeons cooing, cows are mooing, Hedges kept in check with trimmers, Motorbikes and kiddies’ trikes, Lawns are finished off with strimmers.

  • Poem: All The Things I Couldn’t Do

    A week ago today I got a tax rebate. A tax rebate? Well, that’s just great! A week ago today I got a tax rebate And this is what it said. It said: Don’t spend it on the spot, Don’t blow it on a yacht, Don’t buy yourself a plane, Don’t go insane, Don’t journey…

  • Poem: My Neighbour’s Security Light

    My neighbour’s security light shines in my kitchen. It’s saving me electric, but cooking is fraught: With the light going off at inopportune moments My food never tastes quite as good as it ought. I reach for the mixed herbs and, plunged into darkness, I put a good handful in my bolognese I give it…

  • Short Fiction: Dedication Is Key

    Dedication, that’s what it took. Personal achievement, relationships, success – dedication was the key to all of them. As he drummed into his children, you had to work for what you wanted. Year-round he trained, measuring, timing, perfecting his technique, straining to get the best out of his muscles and sinews, heart and lungs. He…

  • Poem: What’s Within

    I iron creases from a shirt and think about my skin: You see it creped and wrinkled; you don’t see what’s within. You see my shoulders rounded; you see my face is red; But you’ve got no idea what’s going on inside my head… I don’t want to do the ironing, wash the curtains or…